Sunday, April 18, 2010

Belle de Jour

Belle de Jour? Have you heard of her, coz I certainly haven't until I came across this book in a local bookstore. Belle de Jour (and such a lovely name I might add) is the pseudonym of a former London call girl. She actually became 'famous' first with her blog and subsequently, two volumes of diaries about "the Adventures of a London Call Girl". This book is such a light, easy read, full of witty humor and quite resourceful for single gals who are in 'transition' periods (i.e. between relationships, lost and confused, spinster living, etc...). According to Belle, there are three types of girls. 1. The Good Girl aka GG 2. The Plain Jane aka PJ (aka Me) 3. The Scary Bitch (SB) In short, GG's are "also known as the high maintenance girl. If you ask men straight out, they will say this is their nightmare woman because she has both rules and expectations. Basically, someone who knows what she wants and is not prepared to settle for anything less." Page 19. The author also says that the GG , simply by expecting things like flowers and gifts, manages to atract more men than any other type. Men realise, either through instuction or instinct, that this is a lady who requires keeping in the manner to which she is accustomed. However, most men cannot be bothered once they find out about the GG's rules. Plain Janes (PJ), also known as the girl next door. "Contrary to what the name implies, PJ's can actually be rather hot - but always in an understated way." Belle describes PJ's as "most often finds herself in a series of monogamous relationships, probably lived with at least one boyfriend, an can expect marriage in her 30s....PJs experience the least disruption to their lives as the result of their dating/relationship patterns, for the most part because they are rarely single". The PJ has been one half of a couple for so long, it can be difficult to remember her name not linked to someone else. Now, the Scary Bitch. Honestly I can't really relate to SB but I'll give Belle's description nonetheless. "Blatantly, to a man's point of view (the Scary Bitch) is not marriage nor even cohabitation material". p21. "The SB is the kind of sex you want. Not always when you want it, not always with whom you want it, but sex is out there, on tap, and easy to come by". P21 There are funny chapters like Identifying Suitable Specimens. Where the boys are: Singles events, at work, in pubs & clubs, somewhere mundane, amongst your exes, on someone else's arm, online... Dating: The 'Nice Guy', the 'Gold Digger', The Cyber, The Potential Soulmate, The Sensitive Type... One of my fave chapters (not really my fave, but one that struck me) was Chapter 5 -
How to be Alluring
Here, Belle is her usual self, blunt to the core. And I like it. She writes "it doesn't matter one bit what the cause of your pain, aggression or general attitude problem is. Disappointing childhood? Join the queue. String of failed relationships? You're not the only one. Awkwad cultural backgound? Honey, I'm Jewish. Cry me a fucking river." "No, it do├ęsn't matter what got you fucked up. You might think it does, and spend decades in talking therapies, dissecting the ins-and-outs of your inner child and why your life and relationships are so fucked up. But in the end, why bother? Why not just change today, and get un-fucked-up already?" Powerful stuff huh. If you're single, go get the book and read it!! To use the author's term:
I love it!

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