Up Up and Away!

Tomorrow morning I've to be at the airport at 5am coz Winnie and I are flying to Bangkok! I've been looking forward to 'getting away' since the incident and I really hope this trip will help in mending my life back together. This will be my third time there and Bangkok is truly a place for great shopping, cheap bargains and good food! In my previous travels to Thailand, I've found the Thai hospitality very welcoming and I'm very much looking forward to going there again!

Updates and pics when I'm back :-)

Life...

I don't like to write negative stuff on my blog so here is something a bit more 'uplifting' so to say. Life for me for the past two weeks has been rather shitty. I had an exam, assignments, got dumped, was (or rather in) a state of depression, work, etc...but I keep telling myself that life must go on. On Saturday, my good friend Winnie and I decided to go to Clarke Quay and later on venture to nearby Double O for some drinks and dancing into the wee hours of the night! Happy birthday to the 22 year old guy fresh out of NS and his two mates who came over and 'invited' us to join them..and to the Californian guy who was chatting to me who kept emphasizing to me about how he HATES living and working in Singapore...Whats that about dude? Yes, I was bored (and irritated) by you so I just left.

Thats Winnie on the left, and me on the right..

Our 1 for 1 lychee martinis! Yummy! Girlfriends are better than Boyfriends!

My cousin Ivan and I...

Winnie and I...

Life Must Go On...

Go have yourself a Lychee Martini or two....it's good!!

The Invisible Force

The Invisible Force

Don’t you just want to disappear?
To forget this ever happened
The pain is so great it surges all through my body
My eyes are closed and I stand completely still
Yet an invisible force penetrates my heart

I’m in pain, I cannot breathe
The force is like a knife
I cannot see it, but it is there
I cannot scream
I cannot cry

The pain seeps through my heart
I’m in agony
Will someone save me?
Hold me tight and carry me away

How do I smile
How do I laugh
When my heart is in pain
My thoughts cry for attention
For less confusion

As I block them from my consciousness,
The invisible force pushes deeper
I catch my breath
A single tear escapes
And I close my eyes yet again

Shattered

It has been a while since I last updated my blog. The short story is that I am now single after almost six years of being with someone. I can feel a knife in my chest, constricting my breaths. Sometimes it pushes itself deeper, so much so that the pain is almost unbearable. The mornings and nights are the hardest. How do you go about each day, pretending to smile and laugh when your heart is aching so much you just want to disappear completely. The thoughts in my head comes in waves. Sometimes when I'm busy, the waves are shallow, other times the waves are so high I wish I can just drown myself in it. But when I'm lucky, I follow Freud's theory and repress my thoughts. I try to push my thoughts away from my consciousness.

Now is a time for self-reflection. I believe when something tragic like this happen to two people who had loved each other for a long time, it takes time to heal the wounds. There is no blame here, only sorrow. Deep sorrow, and regret.

As time goes by, and when the knife slowly pulls itself out, life must go on.

For I have hope.