Shattered

It has been a while since I last updated my blog. The short story is that I am now single after almost six years of being with someone. I can feel a knife in my chest, constricting my breaths. Sometimes it pushes itself deeper, so much so that the pain is almost unbearable. The mornings and nights are the hardest. How do you go about each day, pretending to smile and laugh when your heart is aching so much you just want to disappear completely. The thoughts in my head comes in waves. Sometimes when I'm busy, the waves are shallow, other times the waves are so high I wish I can just drown myself in it. But when I'm lucky, I follow Freud's theory and repress my thoughts. I try to push my thoughts away from my consciousness.

Now is a time for self-reflection. I believe when something tragic like this happen to two people who had loved each other for a long time, it takes time to heal the wounds. There is no blame here, only sorrow. Deep sorrow, and regret.

As time goes by, and when the knife slowly pulls itself out, life must go on.

For I have hope.